This is an experimental body of work still in progress. I am exploring my moods once weekly and have been doing so far the last month, using oil paints, gestural mark making techniques and diary style word pieces.
The work began as a kind of personal therapy. I had received some very scary test results from a routine NHS screening test, this news coupled with a sense of grappling with a particularly unsettling relationship, and all from quite an isolating position - living alone. I became accutely aware of what felt like dark moods developing in my mind, but was equally aware of my ability to perseverve through these as one might perseverve through a difficult meditation session. I was reassured by a feeling that time would persist, i would continue and the moods would change, and that underneath it all there was a kind of peace. I decided to explore these ideas, manipulating the oil paint by pushing it around with movements of the brush, some slow and considered, others manic and energetic. I was directly translating the states in my mind onto clean white canvas rectangles, 4 a week, and revisiting these week after week to see how the moods had changed. Almost 5 weeks in, despite an awareness of potentials stressors, i feel strangely calm.
Red might be painful and angry, blue is touched with sadness, white is clean, bright, neutral.. and black, black stands for that place no man or women is comfortable with. It's been interesting to see how emotions and states of mind shift and progress.